Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
