what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
