I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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