ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just threw up on my dentist
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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