just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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