dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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