I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
