Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
