Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
