I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
