I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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