He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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