"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
