my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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