The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
