youre lurking in front of me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
