So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
