how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
