woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
