You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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