I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
