Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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