you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
