you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
