When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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