guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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