The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
