he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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