I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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