where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
