The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
