hotel room ftw
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
