he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
