So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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