every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
