I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
