So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
