Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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