ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
