Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
