You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
