Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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