Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
