so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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