I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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