The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
