You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
