Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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