That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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