Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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