so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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