Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
