Did you just see the Batmobile???
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
